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Never Grow Up

Growing up, oh how we all want to grow up when we’re young!  When I grow up, I’ll do….. But when do we really grow up? Is it when we turn 18? Is it when you stand you for yourself? Is it when you’re forced to take an adult decision? Or is it when one day you open your eyes and the world seems to look bigger, scarier and crazier than before?

I have been blessed with a wonderful family and I remember wanting to grow up and be just like my parents. One of my favourite memories is my mom dressed to the nines, the smell of her perfume lingering in the air and my father looking smart, asking me to help him pick out a tie. Me, sitting there with stars in my eyes thinking, I’m going to do this one day, I’m going to find what I love, have a family, I’m going to have it all.

Famous last words? I’m too young to write off the rest of my future, for all I know I may still get to have it all. It’s just that from where I am standing I don’t see that happening anytime soon or ever. There are so many facets to my life that all seem to running along their own course and I can’t seem to do a thing about it. Sometimes I stop, look around the house and see that carefree ghost of a child running amok, I see her curled up in a corner of the house with a book, on an adventure solving mysteries or casting spells.  I envy her innocence, I want to go up to her and say, “Enjoy this it won’t last forever.”

I see her growing up and taking everything around her for granted; I see her looking around, bored, when she should be soaking in every aspect of the world. I want to shake her and say, “Wake up, look around, take it in quick, before it all disappears.” I see her now on the cusp of adulthood, heart almost broken, trying to put it back together, too scared to take chances and letting them go by. I want to hold her and say, “Don’t worry, you’ll be okay. Take those risks, or you’ll forever wonder how life would have turned out.”

I see her more clearly now, tragedy just about to strike and I want to wipe her tears and tell her, “It’s never ever going to be the same, you’ll always remember and it will always hurt but you’ll build your life around those memories and you’ll learn to carry on.” I see her all grown up, living on her own, hiding out in her room, not wanting to face a new world. “Go on,” I’d say, “You won’t know until you’ve tried stepping out and facing it head on.” Finally, I see her staring back at me, asking me, “What do you have to say now? Are you going to look back and wish you had a taken a different path?

The time is now, remember what you would have said.

Step out, take those chances you may regret,

 For you won’t know until you try, otherwise life is going to pass you by

It’s never too late to find your passion and follow it with unwavering faith

Otherwise all you will have left is a box hidden under your bed

Full of memories and regret.